


Kiss Kiss Chomp

by PhantomSpade



Category: Zombieland Saga (Anime)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, Kissing, One Shot, Practice Kissing, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-03 14:19:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17285672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomSpade/pseuds/PhantomSpade
Summary: A curious Tae attempts to do some kissing instead of her usual biting. The girls decide to help her practice....





	Kiss Kiss Chomp

**Author's Note:**

> Zombieland Saga (c) Cygames

Yamada Tae is a mystery among Franchouchou. No one knows her past, her hobbies, or what she is legendary for (no thanks to a certain manager...). But even for a mindless zombie, Tae is like a child sometimes; curious and always trying to keep up with the other girls' in acting human. You could say she's quite willing to learn a few things. 

So today is one of those days where she learns something new. 

The dark-haired woman is sitting Indian-style in front of the TV, seemly watching a romantic comedy film going on. Her red eyes widen in curiosity when a couple on the screen share a kiss. 

To her, it looks strange. They aren't biting each other or anything like that. They're just pushing their mouths together, but the look of bliss on their faces indicated that they're enjoying it, even after they separate and stare into each other's loving gaze. It seems familiar; how does that feel? 

Looking down at the bowl of dried squid in her arms, Tae decides to try what the couple did. She brings the squid up to her face and plants her mouth on it. Fighting the urge to tear into the meal, she tries to use her lips instead of her teeth and mimic the kiss; only, she ends up sucking the squid instead. 

Lily, Saki, and Yugiri comes into the room, having done their round of practice and decided to take a break while the others go finish up. Saki stretches herself, letting out a long, relieved moan. 

"Man, break time couldn't come any sooner! I bet my legs are tougher now than before!" Saki grins widely, earning an amused smile from Yugiri and a laugh from Lily. When she glances out of the corner of her eye, she sees Tae...doing something in front of the TV. Confused, she points at her to bring the other two's attention. 

"What the heck is Tae doing over there?" 

The three watch Tae suckling the squid, not realizing that she's (somewhat) kissing it. Lily is the least fazed by the sight. 

"Just Tae-chan being Tae-chan. We're pretty used to seeing her do weird stuff now." 

Saki and Yugiri can't help but agree with Lily on that point. Even as Tae becomes smarter, she is still prone to doing strange things. 

Yugiri walks over to Tae, who is too focused on sucking on the squid to notice her presence, and leans over her shoulder to see what she is watching. When she sees the kiss scene, understanding crosses her face. 

"I believe Tae-han is trying to make a kiss like that man and woman are doing on the screen." 

"Oh!" Lily and Saki voice their comprehension, now seeing what Yugiri is saying. Tae looks up at the three, still "kissing" the squid as she makes a small moan as a greeting. 

The blonde smiles micheviously, an idea coming in the works. Lily and Yugiri spots her look and knows immediately what is about to happen. 

"Since we're on break, how about we teach Muncher here how to kiss?" Saki suggests, seeing how fun it could be to help Tae learn to kiss. 

Yugiri and Lily share a look; both are certain that it wouldn't be a good idea to teach kissing to Tae. But they have nothing else better to do and teaching Tae in general doesn't always yield bad results, so why not?

Yugiri, of course, brings up an important question to Saki's proposition. 

"So, if we are going to teach her, how exactly are we going to demonstrate kissing to Tae-han?" 

Now Lily shares a look with Saki, as if silently asking the other what they should do. If they are going to teach Tae kissing, then they would have to show her how. Which would mean...

"I'm not gonna be kissing a little kid." Saki says firmly, looking pointedly at Lily, who briefly glares back at her. 

"And I don't believe Sakura-han, Ai-han, and Junko-han would agree to help either. Hmm..." Yugiri hums. 

Then, after thinking for a second, Lily snaps her fingers as she thought of a solution to their little problem. 

"I know just the thing to practice kissing on!" 

Lily runs out of the room for a brief minute before returning back, a slightly worn plush doll clutched in her hand. She closes the door behind her and runs back to the group, positioning herself in front of the curious Tae with the doll held out in front of her. 

"Okay, Tae-chan! To kiss, you pucker your lips up like this!" Lily does so, pushing her lips out together like a fish, even popping them a bit to make kissing noises. She slowly brings the doll to her until she places her lips on its face for a second then pulling away. 

"See? Nice and quick!" 

Saki snickers at her demonstration. "Since when did you ever kiss, Shrimpy?" 

The young girl pouts at the blonde. "I did it in a movie once!...On the cheek, anyway." 

Saki guffaws at that, finding the girl's chaste experience laughable, much to Yugiri and Tae's confusion and Lily's annoyance. Saki proceeds to scoot Lily out of the way and takes the doll from her, eager to do her own demonstration for Tae. 

"Come on! I'll show you what a real kiss is like!" 

With gusto, Saki brings the doll to her face and smooshes her lips against its mouth. Like what Lily did earlier, Saki sucks her lips against her teeth to make her kisses audible, even making a  _pop_ sound after she pulls away with a grin. 

"When you kiss somebody, give it with all you got! Being a little rough never hurts anyone! That's how I did whenever I made out with Reiko!" 

Lily groans in a exasperated tone while Yugiri responds with an interested look. 

Saki passes the doll to Yugiri, saying, "Your turn, Big Sis. You're an expert on this, so show us what you're made of."  

The young woman nods as she takes Saki's place in front of Tae, who continues to watch with interest. 

"Alright, Tae-han. Do it like they did, but don't push your lips out too far." 

Yugiri puckers her lips up, but less so than the previous two. Then she tilts her head down to kiss the doll, rubbing the back of its head to add a tender effect. The two spectators are surprised at her display, having expected her to do it in a more...sexy fashion. 

However, Yugiri isn't done yet. 

"If you would like to go any further, use your tongue to lick the other person's lips to gain entrance into their mouth."  

Yugiri kisses the doll again, this time sticking her tongue out to lick its mouth, leaving a bit of drool on it as she leans away from it. With her spit briefly connected to the doll, it gives a rather erotic image. 

Saki and Lily stare at the woman indignantly with pink cheeks. "Let's not teach her that, Yugirin." Lily says bluntly. 

Cleaning the saliva off, Yugiri hands the doll over to Tae and smiles gently at her. "Now you try, Tae-han." 

The dark-haired woman stares at the doll, focusing on its lips as she attempts to mimic the other girls' examples. She pushes her lips out a little bit, almost like Yugiri did, and brings the doll closer until her mouth meets the doll's, all while trying not to bite. 

It is soft and strangely inticing despite the doll not being a real person. Tae starts moving her lips back and forth, producing those strange noises from her mouth. So this is what kissing feels like? 

The trio smile and begin to clap, proud of Tae's attempt at kissing. "Not bad on the first try there, Tae!" Saki gives the woman a thumbs-up. 

"Could use a little more work, but good job, Tae-chan!" Lily exclaims, impressed that Tae didn't resort to biting immediately. 

Yugiri smiles as she prepares to take a joint out to smoke. "A very nice and simple display." 

Just as Tae finishes kissing the doll, she stops when she hears a door opening and people coming in the room. She turns to see Sakura, Junko, and Ai walking in from practice. 

"Hey, everyone! Me, Ai-chan, and Junko-chan are done with practice, so what do you-" 

Before Sakura could register it, Tae darts across the room and crashes into her, knocking themselves to the floor as she wraps her arms around the girl beneath her. She stares intensely into Sakura's bewildered eyes, then looks down at her lips. 

"Tae-chan?! What are you-Hmmph!" 

Tae cuts her off by pressing her mouth against hers, shocking the girl further and making her blush the same shade as her hair. When she feels Tae's tongue stroking her lips, Sakura presses her hands below the woman's chest and attempts to push her off. 

Everyone is shocked at the display, especially Ai and Junko, the former now demanding an explanation. "What have you three been teaching Tae-chan?!" 

"Kissing!" The trio exclaim, earning a facepalm from Ai and a worried look from Junko. By now, they really should've seen that coming considering it's Tae. 

Quickly, Ai and Junko grab onto Tae from the waist and begin pulling her, trying hard to pry the woman off of Sakura, who is still pushing back. Soon, the remaining three join them. 

"Tae-san, get off of her now!" Junko cries out, doing her best to pull her off with the others.

In just a few minutes, the five girls are able to yank Tae off of Sakura with all effort. However, the girl swivels around to grab Ai and plants a kiss on her like she did with Sakura. The blue-haired girl freezes as Tae tries to enter her mouth like she tried with the pink-haired girl, but recovers quickly enough to push Tae off of her with the help of the other girls. 

Then the dark-haired woman turns her hungry gaze onto Junko, who is slowly backing away as she feels the shivers going up in her body. "T-Tae-san, no!" 

Soon, the whole room resolves into chaos as Tae chases after Junko while the other girls chase after Tae herself. 

"Someone stop Tae-chan!" 

"Ahh! We created a zombie kisser!" 

"At least she's not chomping on anyone!" 

"Get some dried squid already-Ack!" 

By the time Tatsumi comes in the room to check on the girls, he sees Junko cowering in the corner in front of Tae, who is being held back by the rest of Franchouchou to keep her from kissing the timid girl. Without a word, the man just silently leaves the room. 

On that day, Tae earned the title of being the legendary kisser. At least for taking some of the girls' first kisses. 


End file.
